So it has been about a month since I last updated so I think it's time. :)
Not much has been going on yet so much at the same time! I know that does not make sense but that is the story of my life! It is such an "organized mess".
Chris and I went to his squadron's Christmas party last night and I had so much fun. It meant a lot to me that he took me because I was beginning to feel like he wanted to keep me out of that part of his life. Silly, I know. But it just seemed to me that out of all the opportunities that he has had to take me out and meet the people he works with, there was always an excuse. Now I know better. :)
Alyssa is doing well and getting big. She has been making these silly faces that i just adore! She still hasn't started to walk yet, but I know she will in her own time. She has been very clingy to me lately and I can't help but wonder if it is because I have been working. I feel horrible about that whole situation because I want to contribute financially to our family as well but then I want to be home with the kids making sure that I am the mommy that they need.
Andrew is sick once again and I am starting to really worry about it. He gets sick out of no where and starts puking. I know that kids throw up but he does a little to often. I think I am going to take him to the doctor and see if there is anything they can find or if my son just has a weak stomach.
He is doing so good in school though! At his thanksgiving performance I overheard a couple of parents talking about how their kids brought home so many yellow faces (the kids are rated by faces-happy face=good day, yellow straight face=had to be talked to, red sad face=not a good day). I just sat there and smiled because my son has brought home only 1 yellow face this entire school year so far. Drew is so smart and he loves school and he LOVES to sing. I am so proud of him for being such a great boy. I love him so much.
So, how am I doing...hmm. Well that could take a while for me to explain. I have had my ups and downs this month. I have been feeling selfish, very selfish lately. I also have been feeling very angry and frustrated with the pettiest things. I don't want to be that way anymore. It makes me feel horrible and it makes the people around me feel horrible. I know that I should pray about it but I keep putting it off. I keep putting off praying, can you believe that? Every week I say that things are going to be different and before I know it, it is the beginning of a new week and I find myself saying that again.
I also find myself thinking that now that I am an adult (I know I have been an adult for a long time now, but just go with it) I can do what I want when I want. But that is so not the case! The preacher at our church said something last Sunday that really hit home for me. That whole lesson was amazing (well all of his lessons are!) but this one definitely stuck out to me. He said, "When you tell yourself that you will do something when you 'feel' like it, just think, do you think that Jesus 'felt' like dying on the cross that day?" I was like "wow". I complain about the pettiest things and have no idea about how blessed I am!
And I need to change. I need to change now because everyday is a gift, not a right. I need to make things right and try my best to live by the Word of God and do what I can so that I can get to Heaven. I need to stop complaining about the things that I don't have and start enjoying what I do have. What do I have? A husband who loves me for what and who I am, who is a Christian, and who is a great father to our children. I have 2 beautiful children who are just one of the greatest blessings from God. I have an amazing and extended church family. I have a warm home, food to eat and clothes to wear. I also have an wonderful family and great friends. My friends may be few, but I love them and they are great. Over all, I have a wonderful life that I am taking for granted right now. Well, that I WAS taking for granted...no more.....no more.
