Ok, let's get into it I guess.....
Today has not been a very good day. A lot of days have been like this for me lately. Something just does not feel right. I woke up today and did not feel a thing. I felt numb. Not angry. Not sad. Not happy. Not anything. I went about my usual morning routine, waking up Drew, getting Alyssa changed and dressed, letting the dog out. And the whole time I just felt like dropping everything and running away. Leave everything behind, but just for a while. I don’t feel like myself right now. I want to scream…but will anyone hear me? I want to run..but will anyone care?
Overall I can say that I AM happy with how my life turned out. Or at least I should be. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children. We have a home, food, and clothes. All the basics are covered. God has been good to me. They why do I still feel like this? Is this just a feeling that comes along with being a mother and a wife?
I go about my day doing everything for others. Which I don’t mind at all. I love to see the ones I care about satisfied and happy. But for some reason, lately I feel left out. I feel forgotten I should say. I feel “routinely forgotten”. It just feels like nobody is there to see that I am taken care of. Which is completely selfish and terrible of me. I don’t want to feel that way. I just don’t know how to shake this feeling. I just want to smile and have it be a genuine smile. I want to be me again….I haven’t been praying as much either because of it. At least not for myself. I pray for my kids and for my husband. All day everyday. *sigh* Hopefully things will get better soon. Wait, things are great…hopefully I will get better soon.
~Vee~
I have been there. We've already talked about it but I wanted you to know I care about you and I think you are an awesome person and friend! But we seriously need to hang out more girl! HUGS :-)
ReplyDelete